Blog

Ideal with Anger

Today I went for a hike at a nearby mountain. I’ve been meaning to spend more time there, and though it was a challenging hike, the view was worth it and the self reflection was important. I did a lot of reflecting about anger. I get mad at myself a lot these days. I’m mad…

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I Think Therefore I’m Damned

Today I walked to a cemetery. Not for any particular reason, except that I like the view. It sits on a hill, in the shadow of the distinctive mountain near my house, with some old scraggly trees. It’s the kind of place that’s good for thinking. I’m realizing I’ve been avoiding doing much thinking lately.…

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A New Leash on Life

I’m not sure how to write about today’s walk because it had two poles of its own. On the one hand, I had a lovely walk with my friend from college where I recounted the ways in which I made genuine friendships with the most unexpected but inspiring people in the ward this time, and…

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A Twist of Fate

I had another manic/psychotic episode. If you’ve been worried about me, don’t be. If you haven’t, don’t be. This isn’t really meant to be a post about anything except gratitude. And maybe a little soapboxing. I have gratitude for the fact that some people experience psychosis only once in their lives. Paradoxically, I also have…

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The Sound of Silence

This post will feel like whiplash after Friday’s was so focused on things I can’t do and progress I can’t make. Maybe it’s the bipolar talking. But I’ve been reading and reflecting a lot, and I’m starting to feel motivated to do the things that I know will make me well. Recognizing that I might…

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Just In Headcase

Today, I’d like to write a post of appreciation for the nurse at my primary care physician. I had to laugh at the fatigue in her eyes when she saw me in the waiting room. For a moment, she forgot her pleasantries, and I could see a small part of her die as she recognized…

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The Ghost of Halloween Past

On Halloween, Matt stayed behind during Bailey’s nap so that I could take a walk by myself. It was a crisp fall day and I spent too much time trying to take pictures that properly captured the beauty of the light coming through the leaves. Halloween has long been a favorite holiday of mine and…

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The Deep Blues Sea

(Content warning: this post discusses details of my psychiatric hospitalization. If that’s triggering for you, you may want to skip this one, and know that I’m sending you all my love). This week I walked with a friend and her four-month-old. It’s surreal to watch my friends with babies now and to realize that my…

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