Today I went for a hike at a nearby mountain. I’ve been meaning to spend more time there, and though it was a challenging hike, the view was worth it and the self reflection was important. I did a lot of reflecting about anger. I get mad at myself a lot these days. I’m mad…
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I Think Therefore I’m Damned
Today I walked to a cemetery. Not for any particular reason, except that I like the view. It sits on a hill, in the shadow of the distinctive mountain near my house, with some old scraggly trees. It’s the kind of place that’s good for thinking. I’m realizing I’ve been avoiding doing much thinking lately.…
Read MoreA New Leash on Life
I’m not sure how to write about today’s walk because it had two poles of its own. On the one hand, I had a lovely walk with my friend from college where I recounted the ways in which I made genuine friendships with the most unexpected but inspiring people in the ward this time, and…
Read MoreA Twist of Fate
I had another manic/psychotic episode. If you’ve been worried about me, don’t be. If you haven’t, don’t be. This isn’t really meant to be a post about anything except gratitude. And maybe a little soapboxing. I have gratitude for the fact that some people experience psychosis only once in their lives. Paradoxically, I also have…
Read MoreJust In Headcase
Today, I’d like to write a post of appreciation for the nurse at my primary care physician. I had to laugh at the fatigue in her eyes when she saw me in the waiting room. For a moment, she forgot her pleasantries, and I could see a small part of her die as she recognized…
Read MoreThe Deep Blues Sea
(Content warning: this post discusses details of my psychiatric hospitalization. If that’s triggering for you, you may want to skip this one, and know that I’m sending you all my love). This week I walked with a friend and her four-month-old. It’s surreal to watch my friends with babies now and to realize that my…
Read MoreComing to Terms with Your Selves
Last week was the first official walk I took while talking to another survivor of postpartum psychosis. It is such a comfort to talk to other survivors, and so inspiring. She is an unbelievably strong person. It takes a unique kind of strength to come to terms with your psychotic self. That part of you…
Read MoreTime Before Time
This week, I talked to Erica while I walked. Erica and I used to work together, and first got to know each other by taking walks along the river outside our office, whenever either of us needed a mental break from the frenzied pace of the day. I can’t believe that it’s been almost a…
Read MoreThe New Moms and Infants Well-Being Act
I’m doing something a little bit different today to call attention to a bill up for consideration in Massachusetts called “The New Moms and Infants Well-Being Act.” This bill ensures that women who face criminal charges as a result of actions they took while experiencing postpartum psychosis (and/or postpartum depression) receive evaluation and treatment from…
Read MoreWhistle While You Walk
Between the heat, the rain, a busy schedule and some lingering depression, I haven’t been making as much time for walking this summer as I wanted to. But a few weeks ago our neighborhood restaurant had a special that looked particularly tasty, so Matt suggested that we check it out. When he mentioned that we…
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Postpartum Psychosisterhood 