I should have learned by now not to jinx things. That if I talked about how smoothly ECT was going some force somewhere would laugh in my face for acting so certain, so confident, that things were working out. Because the very next night after my first treatment I started to feel feverish, with chills…
Read MoreAll articles filed in psychosis
Psycho-ho-ho-sis
In my last post, I mentioned how challenging it is to be cooped up in the house with Bailey so often. But on my latest solo walk on the day after Christmas, I got to think a lot about all of the lovely ways in which being cooped up in the house for Bailey’s first…
Read MoreMisfortune-Telling
Last night, just before Matt and I went to bed, I started feeling upset and, at first, didn’t understand why. It wasn’t massive-mood-swing upset, so it didn’t scare me, but it did catch me off guard. “What’s wrong?” Matt asked, and it surprised me how quickly the answer came to me once he asked. “I’m…
Read MoreA Blaze of Crazy
Yesterday I walked on my treadmill because it was raining. My husband set me up with his walking workout which, for me, turned out to be more of a run. I found this very unpleasant, but at least I got a quick mile logged. I watched the show “Never Have I Ever” and one of…
Read MoreQue Sera Serotonin
Talking to a survivor this morning felt like coming home. She and I met through our psychosis support group. I was shocked when I went to my first group and heard how similar all our stories were. One woman asked if anyone else had been diagnosed with bipolar, and the vast majority of us nodded.…
Read MoreClosure through Disclosure
Today I walked in my old neighborhood, with my old boss (who used to hold my current position). She is a gem of a human, and someone I’ve always looked up to, so it was great to finally connect again for the first time since the summer. I told her about my latest episode, and…
Read MoreI Think Therefore I’m Damned
Today I walked to a cemetery. Not for any particular reason, except that I like the view. It sits on a hill, in the shadow of the distinctive mountain near my house, with some old scraggly trees. It’s the kind of place that’s good for thinking. I’m realizing I’ve been avoiding doing much thinking lately.…
Read More
Postpartum Psychosisterhood 