The Deep Blues Sea

(Content warning: this post discusses details of my psychiatric hospitalization. If that’s triggering for you, you may want to skip this one, and know that I’m sending you all my love). This week I walked with a friend and her four-month-old. It’s surreal to watch my friends with babies now and to realize that my…

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Coming to Terms with Your Selves

Last week was the first official walk I took while talking to another survivor of postpartum psychosis. It is such a comfort to talk to other survivors, and so inspiring. She is an unbelievably strong person. It takes a unique kind of strength to come to terms with your psychotic self. That part of you…

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Time Before Time

This week, I talked to Erica while I walked. Erica and I used to work together, and first got to know each other by taking walks along the river outside our office, whenever either of us needed a mental break from the frenzied pace of the day. I can’t believe that it’s been almost a…

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Whistle While You Walk

Between the heat, the rain, a busy schedule and some lingering depression, I haven’t been making as much time for walking this summer as I wanted to. But a few weeks ago our neighborhood restaurant had a special that looked particularly tasty, so Matt suggested that we check it out. When he mentioned that we…

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An Attitude of Gratitude

The last time I wrote, I reflected that a bad day doesn’t have to turn into a bad week. But sometimes it does. And sometimes one bad week turns into another. I’ve been having a tough time lately, and I wish I had a more insightful or eloquent way of saying that. But one of…

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Teach for Mom-erica

My husband was sick last week, so it was just me on Bailey duty. The first day was the roughest, with Bailey being in one of those moods where everything that’s not a toy is a toy, and everything that is a toy is completely uninteresting. So the next day, I was determined to make…

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Beauty and the Grief

Today, I walked with another friend from my old job, Janice. Janice was one of the first people who reached out to me after I gave birth to offer me emotional support and a space to talk about the realities of what I was going through, before I began traveling through a different reality entirely.…

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Stranger in a Strange Body

As I walked by myself this week, I thought about my body. One of the reasons that walking has been so helpful is that it grounds me in my body. Reminds me that no matter how caught up I get in the workings of my mind, I have a physical presence as well. A presence…

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Birth in the Time of COVID

Cassie is a current friend and former coworker. We started that job on the same day, and worked together in lockstep during some of the best years of my life. Cassie’s skills perfectly complemented my own. We were the yin and yang of our team. I was loud. Cassie was quiet. I was disorganized. Cassie…

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