It was two years ago today that we officially labeled what was happening to me as a problem. It was two years ago today that my mother FaceTimed me when I had just woken up from a nap. “How are you doing?” she asked, and I launched into a sermon. “We’re doing great!” I shouted,…
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Misfortune-Telling
Last night, just before Matt and I went to bed, I started feeling upset and, at first, didn’t understand why. It wasn’t massive-mood-swing upset, so it didn’t scare me, but it did catch me off guard. “What’s wrong?” Matt asked, and it surprised me how quickly the answer came to me once he asked. “I’m…
Read MoreA Little Help from my Friends
Yesterday I had a lovely but utilitarian walk to the post office to get stamps for our Christmas cards. As I walked, I talked to my old college roommate, Colleen, who has been a rock of support to both me and Matt throughout this entire ordeal. I even got to hear a few attempts at…
Read MoreA Team is a Wish Your Heart Makes
The theme of one of Monday’s walks was definitely caretaking. I walked while talking to an old friend from graduate school, who has had two babies in the last two years. With each of them, she had hyperemesis gravidarum– a condition that causes intense nausea and vomiting throughout one’s entire pregnancy and results in dehydration,…
Read MoreStay with Me, The World is Dark and Wild
Yesterday I took a mother/daughter walk with Bailey. Which feels more significant now that she can talk a little bit. “Walk!” she says, as I get her shoes on. “Outside!” she cries in disappointment when I put her and the stroller in the car to drive to our destination- she wants to hurry up and…
Read MoreClosure through Disclosure
Today I walked in my old neighborhood, with my old boss (who used to hold my current position). She is a gem of a human, and someone I’ve always looked up to, so it was great to finally connect again for the first time since the summer. I told her about my latest episode, and…
Read MoreA Twist of Fate
I had another manic/psychotic episode. If you’ve been worried about me, don’t be. If you haven’t, don’t be. This isn’t really meant to be a post about anything except gratitude. And maybe a little soapboxing. I have gratitude for the fact that some people experience psychosis only once in their lives. Paradoxically, I also have…
Read MoreTime Before Time
This week, I talked to Erica while I walked. Erica and I used to work together, and first got to know each other by taking walks along the river outside our office, whenever either of us needed a mental break from the frenzied pace of the day. I can’t believe that it’s been almost a…
Read MorePsychoSister: Qu’est-ce que c’est?
Sometimes even I have a hard time following my own story. It’s complicated. So I’m going to try to provide some context to help make my stories a little bit clearer. One of the first questions I always get is “Wait, did you have postpartum bipolar or postpartum psychosis?” Even after talking to multiple health…
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Postpartum Psychosisterhood 