It’s perhaps fitting that I last posted for New Year’s, and that I’m finally posting again just after Nowruz– the Persian New Year. I always felt that it was more natural to celebrate the new year with the arrival of spring. Spring is such a time for hope- new growth, new warmth, new babies. But…
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A New Year’s Resoulution
Few years in my life have felt as long as this one. Last year, on New Year’s, I declared that I’d had the hardest year of my life, and therefore I was the strongest I’d ever been. In the end, this proved to be true. Although I faced many familiar battles this year, I fought…
Read MoreFree Dogs, Free Therapy
During today’s first walk, I spent time talking with an old friend from high school. We talked about many things, but one thing we touched upon that got me thinking was the amount of stigma associated with seeking out help for mental illness. This strikes me as so odd given the prevalence of mental illness.…
Read MoreThe Sound of Silence
This post will feel like whiplash after Friday’s was so focused on things I can’t do and progress I can’t make. Maybe it’s the bipolar talking. But I’ve been reading and reflecting a lot, and I’m starting to feel motivated to do the things that I know will make me well. Recognizing that I might…
Read MoreJust In Headcase
Today, I’d like to write a post of appreciation for the nurse at my primary care physician. I had to laugh at the fatigue in her eyes when she saw me in the waiting room. For a moment, she forgot her pleasantries, and I could see a small part of her die as she recognized…
Read MoreThe Deep Blues Sea
(Content warning: this post discusses details of my psychiatric hospitalization. If that’s triggering for you, you may want to skip this one, and know that I’m sending you all my love). This week I walked with a friend and her four-month-old. It’s surreal to watch my friends with babies now and to realize that my…
Read MoreAn Attitude of Gratitude
The last time I wrote, I reflected that a bad day doesn’t have to turn into a bad week. But sometimes it does. And sometimes one bad week turns into another. I’ve been having a tough time lately, and I wish I had a more insightful or eloquent way of saying that. But one of…
Read MoreThe Last Crazy Straw
“It’s strange how we can hold so many different truths in our mind at once,” Kate says as we walk today. We are talking about breastfeeding, but we could be talking about so many things. Kate knows about holding disparate truths in her mind and heart, because she had a baby during the pandemic, like…
Read MoreMother’s Day
It was hard to decide last year when to send my mother home. She had come the day I had gotten out of the hospital. Never had I been more thankful that we decided to buy a house within two hours driving distance of my parents. Because sleep is so imperative for people with bipolar…
Read MoreFirst Steps
It’s best not to overthink the first steps you take towards something. Which is why I make a habit of overthinking every single thing I do. As you might know from the title of this site, my brain doesn’t always know what’s best for me. Still, I tried. I didn’t go for a fancy walk.…
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Postpartum Psychosisterhood 