This post will feel like whiplash after Friday’s was so focused on things I can’t do and progress I can’t make. Maybe it’s the bipolar talking. But I’ve been reading and reflecting a lot, and I’m starting to feel motivated to do the things that I know will make me well. Recognizing that I might…

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Just In Headcase

Today, I’d like to write a post of appreciation for the nurse at my primary care physician. I had to laugh at the fatigue in her eyes when she saw me in the waiting room. For a moment, she forgot her pleasantries, and I could see a small part of her die as she recognized…

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The Deep Blues Sea

(Content warning: this post discusses details of my psychiatric hospitalization. If that’s triggering for you, you may want to skip this one, and know that I’m sending you all my love). This week I walked with a friend and her four-month-old. It’s surreal to watch my friends with babies now and to realize that my…

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An Attitude of Gratitude

The last time I wrote, I reflected that a bad day doesn’t have to turn into a bad week. But sometimes it does. And sometimes one bad week turns into another. I’ve been having a tough time lately, and I wish I had a more insightful or eloquent way of saying that. But one of…

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The Last Crazy Straw

“It’s strange how we can hold so many different truths in our mind at once,” Kate says as we walk today. We are talking about breastfeeding, but we could be talking about so many things. Kate knows about holding disparate truths in her mind and heart, because she had a baby during the pandemic, like…

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Mother’s Day

It was hard to decide last year when to send my mother home. She had come the day I had gotten out of the hospital. Never had I been more thankful that we decided to buy a house within two hours driving distance of my parents. Because sleep is so imperative for people with bipolar…

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First Steps

It’s best not to overthink the first steps you take towards something. Which is why I make a habit of overthinking every single thing I do. As you might know from the title of this site, my brain doesn’t always know what’s best for me. Still, I tried. I didn’t go for a fancy walk.…

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