It was two years ago today that we officially labeled what was happening to me as a problem. It was two years ago today that my mother FaceTimed me when I had just woken up from a nap. “How are you doing?” she asked, and I launched into a sermon. “We’re doing great!” I shouted,…
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Que Sera Serotonin
Talking to a survivor this morning felt like coming home. She and I met through our psychosis support group. I was shocked when I went to my first group and heard how similar all our stories were. One woman asked if anyone else had been diagnosed with bipolar, and the vast majority of us nodded.…
Read MoreI Think Therefore I’m Damned
Today I walked to a cemetery. Not for any particular reason, except that I like the view. It sits on a hill, in the shadow of the distinctive mountain near my house, with some old scraggly trees. It’s the kind of place that’s good for thinking. I’m realizing I’ve been avoiding doing much thinking lately.…
Read MoreA Twist of Fate
I had another manic/psychotic episode. If you’ve been worried about me, don’t be. If you haven’t, don’t be. This isn’t really meant to be a post about anything except gratitude. And maybe a little soapboxing. I have gratitude for the fact that some people experience psychosis only once in their lives. Paradoxically, I also have…
Read MoreThe Deep Blues Sea
(Content warning: this post discusses details of my psychiatric hospitalization. If that’s triggering for you, you may want to skip this one, and know that I’m sending you all my love). This week I walked with a friend and her four-month-old. It’s surreal to watch my friends with babies now and to realize that my…
Read MoreComing to Terms with Your Selves
Last week was the first official walk I took while talking to another survivor of postpartum psychosis. It is such a comfort to talk to other survivors, and so inspiring. She is an unbelievably strong person. It takes a unique kind of strength to come to terms with your psychotic self. That part of you…
Read MoreTime Before Time
This week, I talked to Erica while I walked. Erica and I used to work together, and first got to know each other by taking walks along the river outside our office, whenever either of us needed a mental break from the frenzied pace of the day. I can’t believe that it’s been almost a…
Read MorePsychoSister: Qu’est-ce que c’est?
Sometimes even I have a hard time following my own story. It’s complicated. So I’m going to try to provide some context to help make my stories a little bit clearer. One of the first questions I always get is “Wait, did you have postpartum bipolar or postpartum psychosis?” Even after talking to multiple health…
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